What next?

We returned from holiday, kids went back to school and I finally got an appointment to see Mr S in Leeds, more scans needed as he hadn't received anything from Calderdale after chemo. Had the scans then went back for the results but Mr S wasn't there we were told they would discuss the scans in MDT and get back to me so we had another agonising wait, the pain in my leg came back so started to worry then bad back ache on and off. Tues 26th nov we went back to Leeds. Good news is the cancer has not spread it's just the mass in my pelvis, the consultant is in a position where he wants to operate BUT until he's actually in there he doesn't know if it can be removed also the fact that it's by major blood vessels, he asked what my thoughts are 'is it going to be worth it' was my reply, he shrugged his shoulders, I cried. He wanted us to leave and think about it and return in two weeks with my decision but I know I have to go for it, so I agreed there and then but requested we hold off till after the new year. This could quite possibly my last option so I had to go for it I'm prepared to do anything so I can be here to see my children grow up but the thought of the surgery scares me. Next thing is trying to get on top of the pain I'm not sleeping and nothing I take seems to help much so back to the doctors next week for stronger pain relief. That's all for now I wish you all a merry Christmas and happy new year, cherish every day. Thanks to all my lovely family and friends for all your support over the years, I love you all very much xxxxxx